you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
