We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
