and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
