just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
