if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
