HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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