I showed him my bush... on skype.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
