There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
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my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
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It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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