A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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