dude i'm inner monologue high
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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