why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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