I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
