I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
