Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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