Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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