Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
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