He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
