you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
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