Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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