i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
