He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
