we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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