Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
