The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Drunk is a universal language darling
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
