Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
