Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
