tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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