I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
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You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
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I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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