I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
