So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
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