sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
How does one acquire holy water?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
