dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
