next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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