Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.