She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
