Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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