My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
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