We won't sleep together?
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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