I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
The feeling are messing with the penis
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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