The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Terrible idea I love it
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
