maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
