Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize