Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
