Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
