DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
