id be glad to
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
