doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
