he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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