i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
