I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
