How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
