I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
