I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
