You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
