at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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