i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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