my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
