But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
