well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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