Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Randomize
