So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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