I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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