This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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