Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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